Vulvodinia & sexuality

How to live intimacy without pain

As we know, Vulvodinia is a gynecological disease characterized by chronic pain against the vulva and tissues surrounding access to the vagina, classified as

An invalidating condition that affects more aspects of everyday life: from recurring cystitis, the sensations of burning, irritation, dryness and tension, all’impossibility of sitting, to wear tight clothes, up to the dyspareunia, also known as "pain from sexual intercourse ". We can say less colloquially that, by the term dyspareunia, we mean the genital pain that occurs during the relationship, and stands out in superficial (when penetrating the painte’vaginal income), and deep (in deep vaginal seat and in the pelvic excavation). It is unleashed in most cases in conjunction with the attempts of penetration, even if it can arise and be warned even during or after the coitus: a condition that makes it difficult to fully experience the experience without fear or unpleasant sensations and that turns out to be one of the main obstacles to living sexual pleasure.

Consequently, even the very way of living sexuality, for those who are affected by vulvodynia, changes and differs compared to that normally (or could we only say more, because who defines what is normal or not for each of us?) Known .

One of the most important challenges you often face is that of “Fear "momentarily or forever (all based on your will, your personal choices and its monitoring of pain) a part of sex for as it has always been lived and for how it has been imposed on us by society: a bankruptcy society That spintə to think for too long that the fulcrum of sexual intercourse was necessarily the penetration and, that without it, for those who have a female genital apparatus, it was impossible to fully enjoy. Obviously these statements are deeply false: there are various ways of living sexuality that are not linked to the exclusive act of penetration and that can be very valid alternatives for personə with vulvodynia. Not only that: the myth of penetration as the only way of having sexual intercourse is not the only rock to overcome. It is also essential to find a person who understands your personal way of living sexuality, respect what are your needs and limits: it is important in fact never to underestimate the physical discomfort you feel and stop if you feel pain.

So what are the alternative solutions to be intimate and practice erotic activity that does not include sexual penetration?

• Dry Humping: That is, the rubbing of one's genitals (or part of the body) against the genitals and body of one's partner (you can choose to rub the clitoris against his penis as well as among his thighs or other erogenous areas). It can be done with clothes on or without and allows you to live intimacy according to your rules: you will in fact decide how and how much to push you and move on the partner, managing you personally based on pain.
• Mutual masturbation: masturbating each other can be extremely sensual and does not necessarily include penetration. Just let the partner touch the vulva (clitoris, lips) without entering the vagina while you masturbate him - perhaps looking in the eyes or talking to make everything more intimate.
• Masturbate yourself while watching the Parthner: This technique leaves even more liberal to touch each other according to your rules and/or needs (it is useful above all when you have recently known the partner, who is not totally aware of our limits/is still learning, or in the moments in which we are more sensitive).
• Tribadism: also said scissor - for the scissor position that characterizes it - is a technique that provides for the rubbing of two vulve, to stimulate the clitoris in events.
• Fellatio: Practicing oral sex to your partner by stimulating it through the mouth is a way to make the other person excite and get excited by looking at him. You can choose to focus exclusively on his expressions of pleasure and his movements or at the same time rub over his body with the vulva by stimulating the clitoris.
• Cunnilingus: It is considered one of the sexual practices that most manage to give a woman and make her reach orgasm, consequently it can be one of the most appreciated alternatives to penetration. In addition, since for vulvodynia personalities, lubrication is very important, it is one of the techniques that most stimulate it, mixing vaginal fluids on saliva. If you don't feel like being penetrated with the tongue, just focus on the rest of the vulva and the clitoris.
• Sex Toys: nowadays there are many sex toys designed to be used only externally. Just think of the pulse clitoris sucks, external vibrators who vibrate from head to toe - perfect to be applied also on the perineum or on the nipples and in any other area preferenty - up to the anal plugs. To use both when you are Solə and paired!
• Erotic massage: fun for the whole body! Being touched, caressing and rubbing one by one erogenous zones until they arrive slowly and gradually, keeping us on the thorns, to the vulva.

Marta Boraso