Think about the other
The modern world - we say, broadly, from the sixties onwards - has had the ability and the value of talking about sexuality. To talk about it, we said. Not always of know how to speak. If on the one hand, in fact, the sixty -eight and its protagonists have somehow knew how to free sex from those retrograde and so annoying taboo, showing nudity in the square - between beauty and imperfections - and explicitly speaking of sexuality (from the act in itself to everything that concerns it); On the other hand, customs clears the topic led to a distorted vision and at times dangerous.
The goal of the sixty -eight battles was, in fact, the emancipation of the body - male or female that was - and the freedom of how to use it; Yet the message implemented in the following decades seemed the following: objectifying the female body (but only of a certain type, it is clear) in the name of freedom. The televisions have ramly contributed to this idea: the goal was to show a perfect woman, almost naked, who did not speak and did not stop smiling, forced to laugh at any drink of the conductor. Bucera, because it almost always concerned her naivety or the beauty of her body. All to meet the drives of the male people comfortable on their home sofa, while the few and silent protests of anyə They were turned off between laughter and made fun of.
The porn industry, in this, did not help. Not because it is immoral in itself (you live the porn!, We would say), but for the idea that it offers sex, to say the least androcentric. The pleasure concerns man, the video ends when he concludes his performance, the whole scene seems to manage the actor based on the cravings of the moment. There is little else, and very few exceptions.
All this is reflected in a distorted knowledge of sexuality by most, especially when you are young. In short, we often grow up with the idea that in sex, pleasure is the pleasure of the male. It is not so much the fault of the porn, and after all not even (not totally) of the televisions, as of a lack of sexual education. Also because in the field of visual entertainment things seem to be changing. The TV series, increasingly streaming and less and less on TV, begin to watch sexuality as an inclusive matter, for allə. Two, in particular, insist on the subject: Big mouth And Sex education, both produced by Netflix. In a new way and without filters, especially for the first mentioned, sexuality is bare, the problems that concern it emerge and solutions to problems that allə, especially in adolescence, face. What is particularly insisted on is the importance of dialogue. Growing with the idea that pleasure is first of all male - and that in any case the male is always and inevitably capable of satisfying his female, if he wants - he caused a singular prejudice: there are no problems if the woman does not reach orgasm, There are if the man does not make it.
Because for women it is more complicated, you know.
This, perhaps, can also be true. But both committing yourself, as a couple, to mutual satisfaction is on the contrary as it is healthier can be done. Often the needs of everyone are different, and what likes at that moment to the boy may not be the best thing for her, or vice versa. Inexplicably, we fear asking what the other prefers*. We put the asterisk, but in truth it is a problem, as we said, which affects men more. Female pleasure is put in the background, it is considered sacrificable: not necessarily for selfishness or male chauvinism, but because we have learned like this. Because once the man ends, the relationship has ended, and at most he recovers later, with the same result.
Speaking, however, would help both. Askə properə partner what he prefers, playing teams because you feel the maximum of pleasure, to engage in depth not only for us stessə, but for the othersə, involves a much better couple pleasure than the individual one. From the moment we have intimacy, not necessarily the result of a relationship, sufficient for sexual intercourse, we can also have it to dialogue, confide, speak.
Because it's pleasant. Because it is good for us.
Enrico Ponzio
