Sex toys. Discussion on pleasure

Recently, I happened to discuss with an old friend of a topic as male as delicate: masturbation. Until here everything is fine (nor on the other hand nothing new on the western front). Suddenly, to feed a little the fire of the discussion, I asked him if he had ever made use of specific toys. In short, of sex toys. He looked at me-I don't know if strangest or more amused-and, with a Savoir-Faire of other times, he asked me why he should never have masturbated with a dildo. Shared objection, for a straight. "But I didn't mean with a vibrator!" I tried to make it clear. Without the need to turn around, he confided to me how he had never done it, but he hadn't even come to mind and nor, much less, had the idea of ​​trying. But how - I got into the chair - and why never exclude such a potentially pleasant thing a priori? At that point, perhaps wounded in pride, the friend urged me with the most ruthless dialectic: "Because, you tried it".
I, I would have liked, once ... there was no opportunity ... they also cost dear ...
Here, no. I've never tried one. But it's not a fault, it's clear. But this inexperience has led us to reflect on what I think is a common fact: the male sex toys go little. They exist, they are - I imagine - very pleasant and well made, but they go a little. Or in any case they go less than the female ones. Here, perhaps, a moment must be stopped and make a consideration: the Sex Toys universe is probably the only field in which the man suffers a taboo that the woman has faced and overcome. Not entirely, it is clear. Furthermore, someone could object that this female conquest, this freedom to masturbate as they like, derives only from the excitement that man feels by imagining or witnessing the scene. Perhaps, at the beginning, it was like this. But today, among the younger generations and gradually sexually aware, the use of the dildo or similar objects is increasingly cleared. There is less and less shame to admit to use it, however much a personal topic remains (and we would miss it).

For us males, however, some remoraes persists. That it is to be attributed to a mere embarrassment, a matter of roles or a social stigma not very important: the male s*x toys are taboo topic, to be censored.

It is a fact that it is worth discussing, of course, but this new Puritanism is certainly not such a serious problem, nor does it in itself affect our freedom of males (the solution is quite logical: if we want to try them, try them!) . A little more problematic, however, is the stigma that nourish this type of objects when they are addressed to disabled people. Alessia Ferri talks about it in an article on Vanity Fair, in which she tells a new Canadian project focused on inclusive sex toys. The relatively recent date of the article, July 2021, and of the project itself, says a lot about the existence of the problem today. Sex (in all its facets) is still largely a taboo, as long as you try to contrast it; But the disability is equally. (By the way: someone is remembered by chance what was the other minority that the highly popular DDL Zan tried to protect? There was the LGBTQ+community, and then? Ah, right, the disabled, forgotten among the forgotten). Consequently, talking about sexuality between the disabled means bringing up a double taboo, a square taboo, which does nothing but accentuate the many hypocrisies that we are guilty of every day. It seems that, when we talk about disability, we forget all the personal needs behind the face of which we only see the pathology, only the urgent needs and that allow you to survive. But the right of a disabled person is the right to live, not mere survival, and in life a very important and fundamental part occupies it precisely sexuality.

I do not go further, it would mean going into a path that I don't know, and whose problems I would not be able to respond. But the problem is there, and it must be discussed. Personal freedom, the right to sexual life of this community, should be discussed which, due to some political whim and some modest embarrassment, is forgotten. I feel like doing little, but talking about it is the first step.
Ah, however my friend and I made a pact: we will try a sex toy for males. This time without censorship.

Enrico Ponzio

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