Male Gaze (the male gaze in the world)

Every time I try to explain to a man the numerous meanings that we find in being a woman in a patriarchal society, I always feel puffed, I see many eyes to the sky, I feel different rearrangements and I am immediately accused of being "so exaggerated". The theme I would like to talk about today is the one I try to explain to the men around me, feeling that they have the task of giving him a point of view that they cannot know and with whom they have never had to do despite this company of Patriarchal mold, somehow, indirectly affects themselves. I have read many things about the "bad gaze" or the "male gaze", of how it has influenced the popular definition of the "role" (and the ideal aspect) of the woman in our society and how it has also indirectly influenced the Man himself, going to stimulate in it the continuous imitation of a toxic model up to the formation, of course, of a real harmful culture. For "male gaze", therefore, there is not only a sexualizing look, but the genesis of this cultural model is also meant that has its roots in the narrative, in the only male point of view (non -neutral) through which The world has always been used to seeing. We find it in the cinema, from where I discovered, this name "bad gaze" is born, on television and also, of course, in everyday life. One of the things that is most difficult for me is to explain to a man what this look means for us women and how it was difficult to notice, growing, how this subtle manipulation has actually created a conviction rooted in us women (and with effects on culture) for which our value was only judged through that male (therefore a point of view) and through the sensations and emotions unleashed in the latter with the unconscious conviction, from birth, that our role was only linked To the pure and simple purpose of satisfying, supporting, accommodating and consequently being accepted, being defined and possibly choosing by this "protagonist man". As if we were also "worthy" of being chosen. Waking up is like receiving a brick in the face, a cold shower through which to take note of the quantity of places/situations/systems and toxic behaviors that we have always been surrounded, and how they are socially justified and considered "normal" and, of Consequence, mechanically implemented by the company with the aim of going to emphasize this "bad gaze" that we women, unfortunately, have firmly sculpted within us. (It is not a fault, growing in an environment so it led us to have this gaze/pinte of sight within us). Clearly, this gaze, this male narrative, gave a meaning to the woman's body positioning it not only as a subject dependent on men but, consequently, also as a sexual object with the sole purpose of satisfying the drives of the heterosexual male. A body, in practice, owned by the other, part of a woman without any feeling, desire or control. From here, we could quietly connect to the actual meaning of the problem of "cat calling", of how man feels in law (driven by what is disgustingly justified as animal instinct) to observe and comment on the woman's body and As she, consequently, cannot rebel and of which, according to them, she should feel pleased for the sexual and therefore social value of the attention that he is giving us. After all, according to this male gaze, the value of a woman is directly proportional to her desability, her beauty and the sexual desire that it is able to move in man (through his own body). Be looked at and beautiful aspect It is in fact something that is inculcated from us since the tender age and from which, in my opinion, it also derives a part of the cause of the famous "female competition" as if, unconsciously, we competed among us to receive attention (capable of Let us feel important and valiant) of the narrator of our history by leaving him the power and control of pissting us back/indicate a role (clearly wrong) that, in reality, because of this patriarchal society, the woman struggles to find alone. If we think about it, in fact, in our society the woman considered "valiant" and "worthy of attention" is always painted as a passive, accommodating, dependent on man, loving, in need of help and, why not, even future mother (Spoiler, religions also put a nice load). Needless to say, this, in fact, literally affects the way we women perceive ourselves (and the others) is physically but also in understanding our function in society. This continuous objectification of the woman inevitably leads to canceling the person, to cancel his identity and his real role in the world and, consequently, moves in the affected person an insecurity regarding his professional skills, an insecurity and a sense of extraneousness with one's body and a shame, a sense of guilt regarding one's physical presence. I myself, having always worked in male environments, have often been accused of working only thanks to my beauty or, at the same time, I was professionally diminished through allusions to my body or, recently, reproached for not having used my body for obtain more work relevance. Not surprisingly, with hindsight, I believe that in some way my eating disorder was also a way of unconscious (is a disease) rebellion regarding the sexualizing gaze of man and, unfortunately, the envious gaze of the women I have met in my life. That envy born, as we said previously, to a massive quantity of male looks that I have always received in the course of my life and which have always been erroneously deciphered, by other women, as a social meter, as if I were more "valiant" of them. In one way or another, on both sides, my role was always reduced solely to my physical presence, without ever really being, really listened to / sight as a person. This continuous refusal on a human level that I have always suffered (I do not want to be a victim, but this is reality) by both sexes and my refusal to be defined as a woman according to the male chauvinist and not the real one, I think it has certainly influenced Much in the psychological and profound aspect of my eating disorder and therefore, consequently, to my refusal in having a body that was considered sexually desirable/exciting by men, which was considered the subject of envy by women and, finally, that it was considered cumbersome from the undersigned, and that would undermine my work credibility. This very long introduction that I wrote I did it because anyone who read this article could somehow take slowly in a female point of view, to therefore become empathized with a topic that unfortunately today is often deformed, trivialized and, unfortunately, not considered Truthful from a certain slice of male population (not all) and, alas, female. I believe that in 2023 it is a duty to inquire, both as women and even as men, embracing the idea that a new type of culture can make us high and better people, citizens of a world that respects human rights of women and that It lends itself to consider us all the same, without being victims of discrimination, gender -offs and gender stereotypes. Hoping to be more and more, to make noise, to unhinge, to unite the forces, for fight against a society and, consequently, a culture that has always done everything in order not to listen to us.


Valentina Dallari

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