But also not

But also not: phrases that we would prefer to avoid feeling, but that unfortunately we find ourselves having to face

Give you to eat? 

Made a laugh

Are you engaged3?

You are too silence

But you work so much from home

How much do you take a month?

You can see your bones

Do you have big bones?

You are always away from home

That you go to the gym 

You are still young

You are permalos3

DO YOU PRACTICE ANY SPORT? It would not be said

But you always eat out

Are you here all the insole?

How many exams do you miss?

You eat that everything?

Don't think you spend too much

How much is a child?

You are too sensitive

It is not a real disease


Do you win the squeeze today?

Don't be Melodrammatic3

Do you have the cycle? 

When do you get married?

You don't have a eating disorder, you look normal

That exaggerated

We can stay friends 

You are Cambiat3 


The words are stones, even more if loaded by the weight of the judgments.

Each of us holds in the memory phrases that would have preferred not to hear, verbal wounds that have been deeply insinuated. In communication there are destructive tactics that can be categorized as follows:

  • The devaluation
    It is a subtle tactic that uses words to minimize the value of the other individual. Through a targeted language we try not only to discredit, but to diminish its essence. 
  •  Disqualification
    Here the goal is not only to reduce, but completely cancel the individual by undermining self -esteem and self -perception with phrases like "serve nothing", "you are the most useless person in the world", "you are not up to par nobody's". 
  •  It disconnects it
    This tactic aims to completely ignore the individual. It doesn't matter if the actions are right or wrong. The person is treated as if it did not exist by creating a sort of emotional void that can be devastating.

In light of all this, is there a way to defend yourself?
There are strategies that we can adopt to protect and preserve our emotional health. Here are some ways with which we can build our "armor":

  • Car-reflexion
    Understanding the roots of these emotions can be the first step to deal with them.
  • Empathy
    Empathy can help develop a wider perspective and be stronger and more inclusive.
  • Open dialogue
    Talking openly, with the person who has expressed judgments or prejudices, using respectful language and sharing their opinions without attacking can favor mutual understanding.
  • Education
    Educating others on the nature of the judgments and their harmful effects. Sometimes the lack of knowledge is the root of everything.
  • Emotional detachment
    Avoiding the impulsive reaction is always advisable. It would be better not to respond immediately with anger and take time to reflect, so as to avoid equally unpleasant reactions dictated by emotions.
  • Promotion of diversity
    Participating in initiatives that promote diversity and inclusion is to help create an environment that enhances the differences.
    • Inhale change
      Being a positive example for others can inspire a positive change in the environment that surrounds us.
      Everyone can happen to pronounce words harmful occasionally, but when this becomes a habit, the need to clearly express their displeasure, annoyance and pain emerges. How do you face a situation in which harmful words become a custom?

    *The selected sentences for this article are the result of an anonymous survey that took place on Instagram, thanks to Tutt3 those have left their testimony


    Emilia Bano

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